Things That No One Tells You About Being A Kennel Tech
"Oh my gosh, your job is so cool! I wish I could play with puppies all day! You must love it!"
Secretly, I roll my eyes. This is the typical response you receive from animal lovers after announcing what your job is. People envision us snuggling puppies all day and getting to wear really comfy scrubs. Do we get to do that? Of course. But there is so much more to being a kennel tech than playing with dogs all day.
When you're a kennel tech/working at a dog boarding facility, you will:
* Become covered in every disgusting bodily fluid you can imagine.
Blood, urine, vomit, saliva, anal glands, and diarrhea are the bodily fluids most technicians navigate through on a daily basis. On a typical morning at the kennel, you'll come in to about half the dogs having peed or took a giant shit in their "rooms" throughout the night. Sometimes, they even manage to get it on themselves and the walls. It's impossible to clean it all up without getting at least some of it on you. Those are always the fun days. Word of advice: don't wear your favorite Nike Free Runs. Then throughout the day, you'll deal with owners handing their dogs over to you and said dog peeing out of excitement/being scared of you, big guys shaking their heads and drenching you in their slobber, etc. No matter what, you're going home covered in some sort of shit..literally.
* Become very good at wrestling.
Our "guests" are not always the most well-behaved. Every dog that walks through the door has not heard of obedience school and sometimes these dogs weigh way more than twice the size of you and want to eat your face. Therefore, you become an expert at manipulating your body to deal with them.
* Wear battle scars.
Being a technician, in some ways, is dangerous. Your "guests" have teeth. Some have long/sharp nails and some of them are huge and don't know their own strength. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't come home with bruises and scratch marks all over my arms, legs or back.
* Learn to swear like a sailor.
Technicians swear. Like sailors. It's our second language, maybe only second to sarcasm. It's what keeps us sane and helps us from wanting to kill the dog that just shit in it's kennel right after you brought him inside. Now, I wish I could say this was something that developed with the job, but in all honesty this is something that's been a part of me since...well, I can remember. But working in this environment has made me realize that all us kennel girls are the same.
* Make assumptions based on breed.
You will learn breed tendencies and will start making assumptions based on breeds. Maybe it's not always right and sometimes you end up pleasantly surprised, but it helps to keep you safe. For example, Terriers, Chow Chow, Akitas, and Chihuahuas are more than likely going to try and bite you. Pit bulls, Labs, and Golden Retrievers will let you cuddle the shit out of them all day. Beagles and Huskies are dramatic and yell the second you try and touch them. And Bull Dogs are rarely neutered. Because for some reason, people think they are tough and need to retain their manliness.
* Deal with dog aggression.
The most common reason for aggression is fear, but occasionally other factors contribute to aggression. With that being said, sometimes you have to deal with dogs that want to "kill" each other. Or dogs that may want to "kill" you. It always makes it very fun when it comes to potty time.
* Learn that scrubs show a lot of ass-crack.
Scrubs are comfortable as hell but not very flattering. They give you no shape, your pants slip down, and pretty much everyone's ass-crack shows when you bend over. And you bend over a lot. So you become very cozy with your co-workers cracks. But hey, that's just part of the experience.
* Be overworked and underpaid.
The job is not only physically exhausting, but mentally exhausting as well. Technicians work long hours, often receive little thanks, and really do not make that much money.
* Work with humans.
A lot of people think that becoming a technician means you get to avoid working with people and just spend the day with animals. The truth is, you still have to interact with people when they drop and pick up their dogs. Sometimes they're pleasant, sometimes they're not.
* Love your job anyway.
With all the challenges that being a kennel tech provides, it is also can be very rewarding. To some, I may only be babysitting dogs while their family is away but to me, I'm making sure they're comfortable while they're in a temporary unfamiliar environment. I literally try to make it a vacation for them so when they come back, they want to and are excited. There is no better feeling then seeing a dog come back for a visit and he is wagging his tail and leaving his owner in the dust. And at the end of the day, I am working with dogs. There's a reason I work where I do and am going to school for become a Vet Tech - I love them!
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Are you a technician with anything to add? What are some of the things you wish people knew about your job?
xx, brit
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